Turning point

All through my first year I’d waited for the moment when it would suddenly get better. I kept promising the next landmark: Christmas, Easter as the watershed with behaviour. It wasn’t until the summer term, though, that I noticed I was much calmer in front of the students and they were calmer as a result. I still tried my best to perform for them, though: telling them stories, telling them about my weekend, playing a role and my favourite classes quickly became malleable. My most tricky classes, however, I still had to bamboozle with clips, powerpoints, music and quick tasks. I never really shook off the horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach before lessons with one particular group. It was the unpredictable nature of their mood which I found difficult. At the end of a Monday—when I taught solidly back to back, including 30 minutes of tutoring—I would be visibly frazzled and the bin would be overflowing with packets of junk food the students has surreptitiously being eating.